Dinner in the Invisible Kingdom [Uncertain Principles]
[Scene: Dinner at Chateau SteelyPips. DADDY is starting to say something about his day at work, when STEELYKID interrupts.]
STEELYKID: If you eat too many hot dogs, you’ll turn into a hot dog!
DADDY: That would be pretty silly. Luckily, you’re eating chicken for dinner. Eat your chicken.
STEELYKID: There’s a magic hot dog, and if you eat that, you turn into a hot dog. And if you don’t eat it, then you won’t turn into a hot dog.
MOMMY: That’s good, because you wouldn’t want people turning into hot dogs for no reason.
STEELYKID: Yeah, that would be silly.
DADDY: So, where is this magic hot dog?
STEELYKID: In a kingdom.
MOMMY: A kingdom like the ones you build with your magnet tiles?
STEELYKID: No, a kingdom that’s a real kingdom. The Invisible Kingdom.
DADDY: Really. Where is this Invisible Kingdom?
STEELYKID: It’s really far away.
DADDY: And how do you get there?
STEELYKID: You just walk. You follow the footprints.
DADDY: Whose footprints?
STEELYKID: They’re not anybody’s footprints, they’re just plastic footprints, that you follow. From some person, who came from Egypt.
DADDY: So, you can walk to the Invisible Kingdom from Egypt?
DADDY: Do you have to do anything special to get inside, since it’s invisible?
STEELYKID: Well, it’s not really invisible. It’s just called the Invisible Kingdom because really, it’s beautiful. Other people call it the Beautiful Kingdom, but I call it the Invisible Kingdom.
DADDY: I see. And that’s where they keep the magic hot dog?
DADDY: Do they have other food in the Invisible Kingdom that when you eat it, you turn into something else? Like, if you eat chicken (eat your chicken!) you turn into a chicken?
STEELYKID: Not a chicken, but chicken that you eat. Like these pieces.
DADDY: So, if you eat chicken nuggets, you turn into dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets? Or Lightning McQueen shaped chicken nuggets?
DADDY: What about if you ate… broccoli in the Invisible Kingdom? Do you turn into broccoli?
STEELYKID: If you eat broccoli, you turn into soap.
DADDY: Soap? What do you turn into if you eat soap?
DADDY: I see. And what do you turn into when you drink the water?
STEELYKID: You don’t turn into anything.
MOMMY: Well, that’s good, because it’s important to drink water, and you wouldn’t always want to turn into something else.
DADDY: What if you ate… honey? Would you turn into honey? [sings a bit of the "Honey, honey, honey" song from the Winnie the Pooh movie]
STEELYKID: You turn into Pooh.
MOMMY: If you eat honey, you turn into Pooh? So they have a whole bunch of Winnie the Poohs running around?
STEELYKID: No, there’s just one. He ate some honey, and he turned into Pooh, but now there isn’t any more honey, but he’s looking for honey, and he asked “What happened to all the honey?” And we said “You ate it, and you turned into Winnie the Pooh, silly!”
DADDY: Uh-huh. Ummm…
MOMMY: That’s really interesting, honey. Now please eat your chicken.
(Been a while since I did one of these, but this was too cute to pass up…)